How many times has a customer been happy to be told “no”? Chances are, very few. Did you know there’s a unique way of telling a customer “no” by telling them “yes” in the same conversation? Honestly, this is one of the easiest tricks I’ve ever learned and it doesn’t take long to teach it.

Find the Yes

It’s really that simple. Find some way to tell the customer yes without actually giving in to their demand. This is especially helpful when working with customers who are irate and already going off the deep end. Looking at the big picture, the customer just wants to hear you say yes to something. We’re all human and we all love to be told that we’re right, so finding a way to agree with the customer and say yes really goes a long way.

Seeing it in Action

As an example, let’s pretend you’re an IT professional at a local university and you have to work with some pretty big names on campus. One day you’re called in to consult with the Chancellor about an IT request that’s outside your scope of support. They had already met with one of your colleagues but the Chancellor didn’t take “no” for an answer. Here’s where you come in: find the yes, while still sticking with the “no”.

“Hello Chancellor, I understand that you’re looking for help on turning off two-factor authentication. You’re right, it is very annoying having to get a push notification on your phone. I also get pretty frustrated with it and I bet I login to more systems than you might have to (insert awkward laugh.) The big downside to all of this, regardless of how correct you are, is that the Office of Cybersecurity is pretty strict about this, and it’s not something I can override in my role. Besides that, I’m pretty sure that you and I both want to be as safe as we can be in this crazy digital world.”

Do you see where I said yes and how often I said it? While this example isn’t completely accurate, it’s a true story that happened to me in a former life. It was with a Chancellor and my colleague did tell them “no” to something similar.

After the interaction, my colleague pointed out how I told the Chancellor “no” but somehow got a different result than they did. My colleague didn’t even see the trick that I played. On our walk back to the office, I shared how to Find the Yes.

Quick Disclaimer

This trick does come with a warning label. Be cautious about what you’re saying “yes” to.

Avoid saying yes to things you can’t truly honor or that you don’t actually mean. Above all else, avoid saying yes to things that could implicate your company (like legal things). Most companies pay lawyers big bucks to explicitly say “no” to as much as they can. The last thing a lawyer wants to do is backpedal your “yes”.